Yesterday was 2 years ago that my Grandma Gene passed away and so with that comes the thoughts of Dylan's regression because it was the following week after the funeral that we really started noticing it. My Mom has said that along with losing her we also lost a part of Dylan, which I agree with whole heartily. Yesterday morning, Dylan woke up in an extremely bad mood. I had to carry him to the bus kicking and crying. He kept grabbing at the back of his head like it was hurting, so I wonder if he slept on it wrong. When he got home they said he had a bad day at school in general and so that just set the mood to have a "poor us" day.
I was driving the kids to Boston's gymnastics class and was thinking about my Grandma and how she would be feeling about the way I handle this circumstance with Dylan. My Grandma was the type of lady that never said anything bad about anybody! I can honestly only think of once or twice hearing her talk negative about someone and I couldn't blame her for what she was saying, I felt the same way. I respected her for how she was! I was thinking she may be disappointed at what I have turned into these past couple years and how I wish I could just talk to her. I know she couldn't make it any easier to deal with but just having her there would be awesome! As I was driving the feeling came over me that she knows I am doing the best I can and she is proud of me! I couldn't help but start to cry. Right then and there, I knew she is watching over me and cheering me on the best she can. I just need to have faith and keep the hope alive that we are getting somewhere! We can't do anything but keep on trying, right?
Then came bed time. I woke up, in the middle of the dream darn it, when I was having a dream about my Grandma Cleo. I had gone up to their house to visit, just like old times, except it was now. I pulled up to the house in my van and had left Dylan inside because I was just running in for a few minutes, I guess. I was talking to my Grandma in the kitchen and kept looking out to make sure the van was there. All of a sudden there was a sound at the door like someone was trying to get in, so I went to open it. It was Dylan and the I looked and the van was gone. I ran out trying to find it, thinking that he put it in drive and somehow got out, but it was nowhere to be seen. I thought someone must have taken it, but let Dylan out first.
At that point I didn't care where the van was or even to go look for it more. I was just glad that Dylan found his way to the door and didn't take off running. This door, by the way, is the last place I ever saw my Grandma alive at. I stopped to visit and as I was leaving my Grandma sat at the door and waved to me. She told me she loved me, which caught me completely by surprise because she never told me that before(or at least that I remember). I always knew she loved me and could feel it, so I never needed to be told. Us Molyneaux's just are not the type to share those feelings out loud, ha ha! As my morning has gone on, it hit me, that Grandma Cleo is there cheering me on as well. She is trying to help me understand that we may have "lost the car"(Dylan of 2 years ago) but DYLAN is still here. I need to be thankful that I have him and just help him along the best I can!
Experiences like these are great and make me appreciate the relationship I had with my grandparents while they were alive. Obviously, they are still a big part of my life and are probably up there trying to pound in my head to "keep the faith and hope alive!" They all(6 of them) played a major part in my childhood. I never realized until I got older and went on to college and met so many people that didn't have their grandparents close by, that I was spoiled! To me, grandparents need to be in their grandchildren's life and I wouldn't have it any other way. My children have been very blessed and their grandparents and even great grandparents are a major part of their life. I hope one day as they grow older they learn, like I have, that they are spoiled and need to cherish any chance they get, the relationship that they have been able to build with these grandparents!
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