The New Move

So it's been a while since I have posted anything, but things have been a little crazy.  We have been looking for a house here and there and one came on market that we loved and we bought it!  So we moved in on June 17th and have been trying to get unpacked and moved in along with every day life.  We are pretty much unpacked but I am not a decorator, so NOTHING is decorated yet.  We'll get to it eventually!  Rick, Lori, Cody and Tessa came and helped get the big stuff and that helped more than they will ever know! We really have the best family, that will do anything to help us out, they are amazing!

With the new house comes adjustment!  I feel like we have adjusted pretty well and Dylan hasn't been all that bad except for one little area:

In the first week at least 3 days I had to clean these types of messes up.  They were done literally within 5 minutes of him not being watched!  My other two kids wanted to make friends and we had met some of the "friends" so I kind of sent them to their house to see if they wanted to play.  They ended up playing with the Slip and Slide, at a house that I had not even officially met the Mom, (she had dropped cinnamon rolls off one morning along with her phone number so we had sent texts to each other) so I probably looked like a bad Mother!  She text me a picture and said the kids were having a blast!  I told her I was sorry I couldn't come introduce myself because Desi was sleeping and I was watching Dylan like a hawk!  I have explained to the neighbors we have met that Dylan has Autism because I feel if they know and see him out wandering they will be more aware and let us know rather than just assume a kid is out there playing.

Brandon and I feel like this past week has been his absolute worst.  We don't know if it is the move and that we are just busy so it seems bad, or if he is in fact bad.  You literally have to be by his side at all times or you get to clean up a not so fun mess.  He is all over the place and is finding his new things he wants to do like: Throwing rocks or garbage down the window wells, Going out one door and making his way to the other door, Lifting up a piece of carpet that he found wasn't stapled down all the way, Getting into the Fridge and Pantry constantly.  He has also gotten obsessed with the binki again and if he notices Desi with it, he pretty much tracks her down as if she is his prey.  I kind of laugh at this because he is sneaky about it and waits until the exact right time to swoop in and steal it from her.  At least, he is not to physical with her and does not harm her but sometimes he has a look in his eye like he just wants to squeeze her.

We are having a fence put in but it can't be done until the end of July.  Once that is in then things should calm down a bit because we can actually go outside and he won't be able to wander around the front.  We are counting down the days for this!

Dylan now has an official room and no crib!  We have put him in a room with only the mattress and then we lock him in there!  It has worked pretty good and he hasn't cried too much.  One night I heard a loud crash and thought the blinds were coming down.  I ran in there and everything looked fine.  I then realized he was looking out the window.  So we snuck out side and saw Dylan standing on the window sill inside the blinds, just watching the world go bye!  When we met one of the other neighbors and told them about the Autism, they laughed and said they had seen him in the window and he looked to be posing!  They thought it was funny and I said they will probably see it much more.  As long as he is sleeping through the night, I don't care if it takes him a while to get to sleep, so other than him ruining the blinds this new arrangement has been great!

I went to my Aunts' Mom's funeral viewing tonight and her sister told me she has seen my cute kids on facebook and that she thinks I am a great Mother.  I told her I promised if she saw me at home she would think differently.  She said I am taking care of a special guy and am a special person to be given that.  I just broke down because I am struggling with this so much right now.  I know I am letting God down on the way I am handling this situation.  I know there are so many other people that would do a much better job at this then I am and I really need to get my act together.  I am not the right person for this, but because of that I am a determined person to help my son.  I know he is in there and I know we will find him.  I just need to give it time and for me to be given a WHOLE LOT OF PATIENCE!

And then today happened...

Today I took the kids to the Mall to pick out something for their Dad for Fathers Day and it was surprisingly a good trip with the 4 kids.  I just had Dylan and Desi in the double stroller and let them out to play in the play area.  That lasted a half hour or so until Dylan started climbing over the wall thing(half wall).  Then Boston had noticed the big stuffed animals that you can ride on and wanted to do that.  I gave in and rented 2 of them for 15 minutes and let them go.  I was pushing Dylan and Desi in the stroller and after about 5 minutes I decided to get Dylan out and have him ride with Brielle.  He loved it and was all smiles and never once tried to get off.  Then we went and ate in the food court and I let him out of the stroller and he sat right by us the whole time.  Until Brielle and Boston ran over to the rail and looked over to the bottom floor.  Dylan decided he also wanted to do that, but went right by them and stayed close by.  He wanted to go down the escalator, so I had Brielle hold his hand and let them go down and back up, and then it was time to go home.  A successful outing with just me and the kids!

Later on in the day we walked over to my parents house to visit.  The kids headed to their favorite drawer in the house, the treat drawer, and raided it like usual.  Dylan was into everything and wasn't about to stop.  He came carrying an unopened bag of cheetos and that is when I put a stop to it.  He was not happy with me and started throwing a fit by falling to the ground and kicking.  My Dad tried to see if he would go out with him to walk down the road to the mail box, but he kept kicking.  Then my Dad put some cheetos in a bowl and tried showing him what he had and to see if he would go with him then, but the kicking and screaming continued along with falling to the ground and smacking his head a time or two to the ground.  He finally realized that my Dad was trying to give him the cheetos and calmed down for a minute.  Then every time he wanted one my Dad would try to get him to say, "Please."  That just upset him more and sent him to the ground again.  He kept trying to give my Dad a kiss, every time he asked him to say "please."  That is my fault because when he wants something I ask him to give me a kiss, so now he figures that is what he should do, I think.

After he finally made an attempt to say "please", he was given the bowl.  But it didn't last long because he went behind the couch and was trying to put them on these trees for some reason(maybe he was trying to decorate?) so I climbed back there just as he knocked the tree over.  Seriously, this was not a fun tantrum.  I spanked his butt and told him we don't do that and he fell to the ground pretty hysterically at this point.  I picked him up and carried him in front of the couch and at this point just let him lay there and kick, hit, scream, what ever he wanted to.  Then it was time to go.  My Mom asked if we wanted a ride home, but I said this would calm him down and keep us out of the house longer so I don't have to stress about being in the house any longer than I have to, ha ha.

While we were outside, with Dylan and Desi in the wagon, and waiting for the other two, my Dad mentioned that if he throws fits like this when he is older that he is a little concerned for my safety, more or less.  Brandon has mentioned that before too.  I told my Dad that was the worst fit that he has ever thrown and is definitely not an every day occurrence.  While we were talking, Dylan did his random sad face and his sad cry.  I told my parents that this is what he does and will just randomly break out in tears, but if you look at him you can see the sadness.  It is as if he is thinking about something and is sad about it.  You can hear the difference in his type of cries and this cry makes me wish so bad I knew what is going on in that head of his. At this point Dylan looked up at my Dad and gave him a kiss, almost as if apologizing.  He is a very strong boy and I am not that big of a person, so by the time he is 5(give or take a few years ha ha) he will definitely be able to overpower me if he continues to be this way.  The night pretty much continued this way (not as physical though) so I don't know what was going on.

We decided to go swimming at the Payson pool and when it was time to leave, we had another fun tantrum.  We went to the Spanish Fork pool first but didn't know it closed at 6, so when we got back in the car without getting in the water, Dylan was NOT a happy camper.  We got to the pool 45 minutes before it closed, so not a lot of time but enough for the kids to have fun.  The lady at the gate even snuck us some free passes because we got there late and she didn't think we should pay full price, bonus for us!!!  While there, all the kids had a blast except for Desi.  The big bucket of water that drops every so often scared the crap out of her and she was pretty much done at that point, 10 minutes in.  One good thing was he never really wandered off and stuck around in the area we were in for the most part.  As soon as Brandon got him out of the water, he started yelling and trying to get back in.  I picked him up and headed out to the car with him screaming, kicking and hitting me.  He kept leaning over making me almost drop him, so I would have to set him down and then he would fall to the ground and I would have to grab hold of his head so he would not smack it on the hard cement.  I heard several people say, "He doesn't want to leave."  He loves the water, so I really wasn't surprised he was doing this, but hopefully the intensity of these fits dies down, someday!

I just keep waiting to start seeing the improvements some of these other people on the Facebook group are seeing.  I am hoping this is the "regression stage" we are in, and things will go up from here.  I know the cells are in there doing there thing and we just need to be patient and work through this together, but boy is it a tough one.

Not Letting Go

This is something that I, as Dylan's Mother, am extremely happy about and worth documenting!  Tonight we went to Brielle's Softball game and I played on the playground with the younger two as usual.  We headed over to watch Brielle's game after a half hour or so.  We sat down and watched and then Brandon and Boston showed up a few minutes later.  Dylan kept trying to get loose from my grasp and so Brandon picked him up to take over.  Somehow, I ended up with Dylan again and was standing and holding him.  He was smiling and being really cute and his eyes had his old sparkle back for that moment, except when he kept deciding to bite my shoulder and be funny.  After a while, Brandon decided he would relieve me and went to take Dylan from me.  As Brandon reached for him and started pulling him from me, I could feel Dylan's legs wrap tighter and tighter around me!  I started laughing and told Brandon he was hanging on as tight as he could.  As soon as Brandon got hold of him completely, Dylan leaned right back to me and wanted me.  I gladly took him back!  Brandon tried several other times to get him and was greeted with a push, a swat or just turning away!  As long as Brandon wasn't close enough to take Dylan, then Dylan was playing along with Brandon by laughing and smiling because Brandon kept popping up behind me.  Not really a big thing, but seeing the smile on his face and the sparkle in his eyes again, I LOVED!  I also LOVED that it was me that he wanted to be with!

Chiropractor Visit

I don't have anything new to report but I took Dylan to the Chiropractor that did the ASA Balance on Dylan and also does Energy work and he said the stem cells are working in his body and his body is accepting them.  He said that they could benefit by giving him cell salts, vetiver oil(treats add/adhd) and something with inflammation.  Instead of trying to get him to eat these cells salts, he was able to put the frequencies on this bracelet thing he wore while doing ASA Balance, so that his body is getting the benefit of the  3 things mentioned above.  I asked him about future immunizations, because I also took Desi to get her detoxed from her vaccinations that I had pretty much been forced in to give her at that time and then immediately freaked out once I left the office, and he said if it was his child he would NOT do anymore.  He said if we are able to get his immune system healed and in a good place, then MAYBE, JUST MAYBE, he would give him one at a time, but that will not be for a while.

I hate being so afraid of this because I know they have their good but now I am scared to death because I have read so much that they also have there bad too.  He said there is ways to protect the body from these illnesses other than vaccinations, so if it comes to that we will go down that road.  If you aren't familiar with Energy work, you will find it very odd, but I have heard and seen some of the things that it has helped people with.  I am willing to try anything that I believe will help my son and as my neighbor told me, "It is kind of a spiritual experience."  I can totally see that because you are putting your trust and faith in what your body is telling you.  My eyes have been opened up to so much going through this both for the good and the bad, but I know we are going to make it through this!  How could we not with all the support Dylan has?  He is one lucky little guy!

Small Things

Today was a bit of a rough day, just ask my Dad the two times he called Dylan was screaming in the background!  It was more of a power struggle day then anything.  I was trying to pack for the move and we were packing board games.  Dylan saw the Connect 4 game and wanted to play(dump it everywhere) so I held on tight.  Before long the pieces came out and went flying EVERYWHERE.  That was the type of day it was all day long!!!  But....

During several of my yelling fits and telling him, "NO," "Don't do that," "Get down," etc.  85% of the time he LISTENED and actually did what I was asking.  Sometimes it was followed by a fit, but the fact that he stopped what he was doing impressed me!  My Dad told me he needed a good spat on the butt and I told him that I had several times today.  When that happens he bawls  and is confused, but at the same time before stem cells it didn't phase him, so now he at least knows that is something he doesn't like!  We went to the store and he sat in the cart and would stand up and when I told him to sit down, he followed that command at least 90% of the time.  So amidst our struggles of the day, I am also seeing the positives!

Last day of Preschool 2015!

Today was Dylan's last day of Preschool for the school year, but luckily(unluckily) he has met the requirements to go to summer school which begins the middle of June!  I am not going to lie, I am freaking out a bit at the thought of having him home all day because lately it only takes him minutes to have the house just the way he wants it..... Just as if a tornado has ripped through and has left nothing untouched!  I told Brandon that is partly the reason I spend so much money, because I need out of the house so that he can't destroy it, but you can't get out of the house with out spending money.  Decisions, decisions: Stay home and have a completely torn up house or go spend money eating at McDonalds(yes that is usually what happens).  Leaving the house is usually the better option!  Hopefully, once we move into our new house, with a yard, I can divert his energy outside and we can just play and play and play!!!

Dylan's teacher, Sherry, put together a field trip to Thanksgiving Point Farm Country and was so nice to allow Boston to come with us.  Boston and I drove and met them at Thanksgiving Point since Boston isn't a student and so it is against school policies to let him ride the bus.  Poor Boston really wants to ride a bus, but we were able to get on the bus to put Dylan in his seat so he got to see the inside of it!  We walked around and looked at the animals, rode a pony(Which afterwards the teacher aides commented that I need to buy him a pony because he wanted to get back on.  I told them the funny thing was that Dylan's Grandpa Rick had in fact bought the exact same type of pony for the grandkids but got rid of it because the excitement didn't last too long, but it was fun while it lasted!), went on a wagon ride and then played in the garden shop play area thing.  I couldn't help but notice that all the parents had the same death grip on their children's hands and all the kids had their moments of falling to the floor when they didn't want to do something.  It helped me to see we are not the only ones going through this and that Dylan is completely "normal" in Autism World!

Afterwards, Boston and I drove back to the school to get Dylan because they had a few end of year papers that they wanted Dylan to take home.  We pulled up as the bus did and they were just unloading.  Dylan was crying and confused as to why he was going back to school for a second time today, poor kid just wanted to go home!  We went in to his class and I kept telling him that we just needed to get his papers and tell his teachers "bye."  He kept giving me kisses, and that was him saying, "come on, it's time to go."  One of the aides(Loni) came over and started talking to Dylan and after a minute he leaned in and gave her a kiss!  I just laughed and told them I had wondered if he gave them kisses because I always ask him to give me a kiss when he wants something.  She told me that was actually a first and made her feel really good!  That also makes me feel good because lately he has been giving more and more relatives(siblings, grandparents, aunts/uncles, cousins, etc.) kisses and maybe he really is understanding the relations rather than somebody that he just meets!

I love Dylan's Teacher and Teacher Aides!  You can see the love they have for these kids and they genuinely care about them.  I know Dylan is in good hands and is where he is supposed to be!  It sounds like he is the only one returning next year because the rest of them, except one that is moving away and will go to a different pre-school, will be going on to Kindergarten.  They will start out with about 5 kids next year and then gradually get more.  So Dylan will have seniority ha ha!  They sent home a little picture book and one of the pictures was captioned: "Mr Handsome"  I LOVE IT because that is a nickname he has always had since he was little, thanks to his sister, and for some reason has carried on to school!  I think I may have called him that one time when I picked him up, so I don't know if they heard me and started calling him that or if they have just given him, and all the other boys, that nickname, but for me and the background, it made me happy!!

Here are some pages of a little scrap book they made for Dylan:

Overwhelmed!

Today was Dylan's cousins birthday party (J&N) so we went over to their house for cake and ice cream.  When we walked in, there was already a group gathered in the room and I think it overwhelmed Dylan.  He had been pretty good throughout the day, other than eating constantly and getting tons of stuff out of the fridge and pantry, so I was not sure why he was reacting the way he was.  He just kept screaming and trying to get out, but I held him and pretty much forced him to stay in.  Once we got out of the hallway and into the room where it was more opened he eventually calmed down, so that was good.  I really thought we were going to have to leave, because it was raining so we couldn't really go out to play and get in a more open environment, but I am glad he calmed down and we got to stick around.

I was nervous how he was going to act at their house since he had been having an eat everything kind of day, but he sat at the bar and played with their sink and then really didn't eat the cake but smeared it on the table.  Lacy started talking to him and grabbed him and kind of played with and teased him a bit and before you knew it he was smiling and looked like he was going in for the kiss.  She sat down with him and sure enough he started smooching on her and even gave her a few hugs.  He had such a big cute smile on his face, and it was such a cute sight to see.

He eventually ended up upstairs playing "near" the kids again.  Brandon stayed up there with him for a bit and then came down and I went up about 10 minutes later to check on him.  I was afraid what mess I was going to find, but other than kids being kids, Dylan had not made a big mess.  I was so excited!  Again like on Mothers Day, he didn't necessarily play with the kids, but he stayed right there in the vicinity and to me that is a big improvement from the past year!