The last week has been a rough one on Brandon. Boston's teacher informed me earlier this week that she has been concerned about him in the past few months because of his fine motor skills(he holds the pencil with his whole fist rather than the proper grasp) and his focus and attention at times. She wondered if it would be good to have the school test him just so we could know how to help him. (I think Bos is fine, but he does have some attention problems at times, so worse case scenario ADD or something but I am not really concerned) So I had told Brandon this and then with Dylan's tantrums and just Dylan's behavior in general and the stress of it all, it has just worn on him. He is where I was several months ago, and just feels there is NOTHING we can do and NOT worth trying because it is a lost cause. Don't get me wrong, because Brandon and I love this little guy and will do anything for him, but it is hard when you do and do and do and do and there is nothing coming from all that effort. I am at the point where I have been letting him watch his shows a lot more than I should just because it is too exhausting to try and hold his attention to "try" and get him to play with you. However, I have noticed this past week if the kids have been downstairs playing Dylan has wandered down there and stays down for 10-15 minutes and then comes back up and then will go back down after another 10 minutes. So that is progress!
Anyway, so tonight we went to Brielle's soccer game and came home. I am not sure why or what set Dylan off(sometimes Brandon holds him like a baby or holds him down to get him to pay attention and try to interact but that usually ends with Dylan doing this) but he was having a major fit. I was getting the kids dinner and after 5-10 minutes of non stop Dylan screaming I asked Brandon what he was doing? He said nothing, but did have him held "like a baby." So I think he was just in Dylan's space and not wanted there. Brandon got Dylan's pajamas on and he ate. Then he headed to the pantry to find something else to munch on, so at that point and because it was bedtime, Brandon was ready to take him to bed. He asked Dylan if he wanted to go to bed and Dylan grabbed his blanket and headed right up, so apparently he was ready!
I went up to help Brandon put the mattresses on top of the crib. I always ask Dylan for a kiss and tell him I love him and will see him in the morning. Sometimes I get a kiss in return others Desi and I have our faces smashed up to the crib waiting but never getting that kiss. Tonight, I did not get that kiss. I followed Brandon out the door and told Dylan "goodnight" and shut the door. As soon as the door shut, Dylan yelled out. I opened the door and walked over to the crib and asked "What was wrong?' He held his hand out towards the door and just looked over there. I looked up and Brandon was standing there, so he headed over. As soon as Brandon bent down Dylan moved to the front of the crib and gave Brandon a kiss. I asked for one, but still nothing!
This definitely made Brandon's night and I think showed him that although we have lots of tough days, these little moments make it all worth it. I told Brandon that was probably Dylan's way for apologizing for their little "fight" tonight. Or maybe Dylan had sensed the frustration in Brandon and wanted to remind him that he is worth it. We are all a team and we are all going to be OK. It is not going to be easy, but it is definitely going to be worth it!
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