Back Post #1

This was originally posted on my family blog on 5/6/14, but I want to eventually print this out and pass it on to Dylan so I figured these posts would be great to include here as well.

Dylan's Struggles

Around the 3rd week of April, Brandon and I both started noticing that Dylan had not been talking as much as he had in the past.  We started to kind of worry about what was going on and noticing more and more things.  Brandon would come home from work that week and instantly focus on Dylan and try to get him to interact and say and do things.  By Tuesday, I had contacted Kids on the Move to schedule an assessment mainly for his hearing and language.  But I noticed that he wasn't making as much eye contact so then my mind started wandering and going down the Autism road.  NEVER IN DYLAN'S LIFE up to that point did I ever imagine we would be going down this road.  Brandon came home on Wednesday and after trying to force Dylan to do things, he mentioned he wouldn't look him in the eye and I said that is a major sign of Autism.  I think at that point it became real to both of us that we may actually have a son with something in the Autism Spectrum.  I feel like we have lost our once very busy, very social, little stinker. 

My mind keeps going back and forth to what it is.  He became interested in the TV a few months back and likes to watch Mickey Mouse, Team Umizoomi and Paw Patrol and that, if I had to pinpoint it, would be when he started to simmer down a bit.  I just figured it was some time for me to get something done and not have to worry about what he was getting in, no big deal, because he was still Dylan when he wasn't watching TV.  Then a few people have mentioned that he could be regressing with a new baby in the family and because he is not getting the attention he has been used to up to this point.  That makes sense too because if I think back really hard he was still doing things, for the most part, up until last month and that would have been about the time Desi started staying awake more and needing more attention.  I desperately hope it is one of these but I have my mind made up that he will be diagnosed with something in the Autism Spectrum.  My heart is broke and I only hope my little stinker will be my little stinker again someday. 

We also wondered if he could have a head injury because a few weeks prior to us noticing his regression he had pulled the bar stool over on his forehead.  It left a goosebump and hit hard.  Then Easter weekend he fell out of my Dad's Rhino and landed on his head again.  We took him to the ER to have him checked out, but they just monitored him and said he had no signs to warrant sedating him and doing a scan.  He threw up the next 2 mornings, so I was starting to worry but then it hit the rest of us, the stomach flu.  He was fine the next couple of days, and then threw up again on Thursday, so I took him to the pediatrician.  He had us do a MRI just to rule out any head damage.  Luckily, everything  came back fine and showed no abnormalities but then that leaves us to believe he could have something along the lines of Autism.

We have had Kids Who Count come and do some evaluations on him and they said he will qualify for Speech Therapy and they want to put him in a Group Play group to get him around other kids and help him out socially.  I have high hopes that this will help him a ton!  We will meet with them on May 19th to talk about their evaluations and figure out scheduling for these classes.  After Dr Paxton gets the reports we will meet with him and see where we go from here.

It has been an emotional roller coaster this past month with my Grandma's death and then realizing Dylan will have some struggles in life.  I never thought we would be here with him because he has always met every milestone, most of them early I believe, and was pretty social up until now.  It hit him fast and it hit me hard.  I, like any mother, want the best for my children and I just want to take this away from him.  I hope that he will at least be high functioning, which all the therapists that have met with us so far have said that he has good qualities and seems to be pretty high functioning, and will be able to live a "normal" life.  Right now, I am lost and confused and have no idea what to do for him.  I know I need to focus on him, but I have 3 others too and can't ignore them.  I need to figure out how to juggle all of this so that I can be the best Mother for them all because right now I feel like I am failing miserably and don't know where to begin.  Some days I feel like I am just here and haven't really done anything for them, although I am by there side the majority of the day.  I can't wait to begin these classes and for them to show me what I can do to help him and hopefully see some sign of "Our Dylan" back!